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Most Unexpected Smart Devices

What a time to be alive.

Smart objects are the way of the future.  I prefer good, hands-on manual activity, but I did want to see what was out there for those who never want to be unplugged. 


While I acknowledge a lot of this stuff is oddly pointless, I know that's only one viewpoint. I'm not here to take a dump on people with mobility issues who use these to help themselves. Or people who like them just for the fun of it. 

Heck, I'd use the *checks* Bane-Mask.

Juice Do It (Smart Juicer)

Juicero is no longer with us, but it was a juicer that cost 400$ (more, if you were an early adopter) and needed to be connected to Wi-Fi to squeeze a bag of juice pulp.

It also lets you know if your pulp-bag-juice was about to expire. So it had a slightly less eye-roll worthy use than just "Squeeze your wallet and your juice".

Phillips Hue (Smart Lights)

Confession time: The only 'smart' thing I would consider for my home is automatic ambient lighting. I love lamps, lights, and taking pictures. The ability to shout a command and have the light adjust in tone or color ... I love it.

Shine Bathroom (Smart Toilet)

Call it a Smarter Way to 💩.

to provide the tools to detect when something is not working right in the plumbing, even helping you fix it without calling out a plumber.

Essentially; Troubleshoot your toilet. 

Nobody Cared About Your Conversation Until You Put On The Mask (HushMe)

This is pretty old, but every so often, I come back to this and cry laughing. Are your phone conversations so important that they cannot be overheard by anyone?

Put on this Bane-Adjacent mask and talk in relative privacy while looking like that.

As of October 2019, someone has beat them to market. Who knew how relevant a mask you wear in public would be in 2020!

Qiui's Cellmate Chastity Cage

How did I learn about this cage? Because it was vulnerable, and could possibly trap your genitals.

The internet-linked sheath has no manual override, so owners might have been faced with the prospect of having to use a grinder or bolt cutter to free themselves from its metal clamp.

People who use this, you have my respect. And fear, if you put a weapon near your genitals. 


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