Skip to main content

Most Unexpected Smart Devices

What a time to be alive.

Smart objects are the way of the future.  I prefer good, hands-on manual activity, but I did want to see what was out there for those who never want to be unplugged. 

 



While I acknowledge a lot of this stuff is oddly pointless, I know that's only one viewpoint. I'm not here to take a dump on people with mobility issues who use these to help themselves. Or people who like them just for the fun of it. 

Heck, I'd use the *checks* Bane-Mask.



Juice Do It (Smart Juicer)


Juicero is no longer with us, but it was a juicer that cost 400$ (more, if you were an early adopter) and needed to be connected to Wi-Fi to squeeze a bag of juice pulp.

It also lets you know if your pulp-bag-juice was about to expire. So it had a slightly less eye-roll worthy use than just "Squeeze your wallet and your juice".



Phillips Hue (Smart Lights)


Confession time: The only 'smart' thing I would consider for my home is automatic ambient lighting. I love lamps, lights, and taking pictures. The ability to shout a command and have the light adjust in tone or color ... I love it.


Shine Bathroom (Smart Toilet)

Call it a Smarter Way to 💩.


to provide the tools to detect when something is not working right in the plumbing, even helping you fix it without calling out a plumber.

Essentially; Troubleshoot your toilet. 

Nobody Cared About Your Conversation Until You Put On The Mask (HushMe)

This is pretty old, but every so often, I come back to this and cry laughing. Are your phone conversations so important that they cannot be overheard by anyone?

Put on this Bane-Adjacent mask and talk in relative privacy while looking like that.



As of October 2019, someone has beat them to market. Who knew how relevant a mask you wear in public would be in 2020!

Qiui's Cellmate Chastity Cage

How did I learn about this cage? Because it was vulnerable, and could possibly trap your genitals.

The internet-linked sheath has no manual override, so owners might have been faced with the prospect of having to use a grinder or bolt cutter to free themselves from its metal clamp.

People who use this, you have my respect. And fear, if you put a weapon near your genitals. 



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What Do You Need? [AKA; List of Offered Services / My Next Role] (2020)

I am a trusted outsourced remote consultant for your company.   I enjoy having the flexibility to take on temporary projects from time to time! I start at part-time, temp work for now. If we like each other, we can renegotiate. If anything sounds weird, out there, or unusual - Feel free to e-mail me .  3 Services Offered Writing :      You want to pay me to write more of *waves hand* this blog? I am game .     I write B2C e-mails going out to over 280 people weekly. [ Example Job Description ]        Auditing :        Something doesn't work on your page or in your app. I can find it, or you can lose business. [ Here ] [ Example Job Description ]   I really enjoy testing apps and webpage concepts! I have an iPhone and Android phones ready. Technical: Still as-needed, always remote, contract, or temporary. IT Operations Tech [ Example Job Description ]     Hardware and SaaS support.     Cisco routing and switching (Networking). CCNA, A+, Sec+, Azure certified WORKING ON: Junos

Portfolio of UX/Product Feedback [Vol. 1]

I browse websites and apps, while making note of things I find frustrating for end users. You have probably been linked here from a form or my resume. If you have any questions about what I'm looking for in a role, click here .   This post is not to shame, but to point out errors and hopefully make my talent for finding and documenting such mistakes clear to someone hiring. Contents: Instances where I offer constructive feedback on someone's website, logo, or app. Actions that were taken by the developers or artists.  I'm glad you want your webpages to be the best they can be with my help; If you need your sites audited, e-mail me . Latest Update -  November 20th, 2020.   Vol. 2 is here .

Contactless Tech’s Role in the New Guest Experience ft. Intelity and The George

 Contactless hospitality technology is growing. You want to get away, and you'll be damned if a little thing like a deadly virus will stop you! But you still don't want to touch things. Ew. During the chat between INTELITY CEO Robert Stevenson and THE GEORGE Director of Operations Kerrie Hunter, you’ll learn how the historic boutique hotel has adapted a mobile-first guest experience in the wake of COVID-19—and how they see contactless technology affecting the future of hospitality. I don't remember how I found INTELITY (probably hoping to score a position with them), but I liked them enough to stay on the e-mail lists.